1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever..
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
24. People who forward e- mail without deleting the tons of previous recipients should be shot and then tarred and feathered.
25. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Ladies quit laughing!

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
-- Albert Einstein

Sometimes, Google just doesn't have all the answers...

Directions

1. In a large pot, saute the onion, jalapenos, and bell peppers until tender.
2. Add chicken broth and diced tomatoes and bring to a boil.
3. Add the rice and corn to the pot and mix well.
4. Season chicken with cumin, salt and pepper on both sides.
5. Place chicken inside the pot until it is covered in liquid. Cover pot and simmer for 10-15 minutes on each side until chicken is cooked through.
6. Uncover and let liquid evaporate. Remove from heat.
7. Add in the can of black beans and mix it up.
8. Top the chicken with cheese and avocado and place on top of rice and vegetables.

Saute the onion, jalapenos, and bell peppers

Step 5: Cooking it all up

Delivery and presentation:

Lol... as a software engineer, I find this strip hilarious. It really hits close to home.

All credit for the following strip goes to Dilbert by Scott Adams - Dilbert.com.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

- Albert Einstein